my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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