mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You ate ashes out of my bong
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
