have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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