im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week š
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Iām torn. Sheās crazy - like legitimately āWear your skin as a suitā crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
