The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
