Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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