The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
