So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize