You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
