Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
