No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
