So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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