Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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