i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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