They should really pass out barf bags in church
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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