We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
