butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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