Well douche your snatch and let's go!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
