12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
