I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
