Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
