I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
