Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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