weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
