Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
