it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My hand turned me down
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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