Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
