tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
