I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
