No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
