I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
they're like a gay fantastic four
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
