It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
