I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
