no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
