Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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