You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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