Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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