it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
