why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
