I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
