You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
