she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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