I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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