I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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