Who wears a wallet chain?!
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Also, beer. Big fan.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
