I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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