we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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