Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
