She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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