She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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