so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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