I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
