He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
