If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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