it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
