We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
