you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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